"So about this report."
"Study on chemical refereed to as FOOF, yes." Why the human felt the need to repeat stuff like that was something he never quite understood. No one else from the human research group did it.
"There are some strange results here. What model did you use as the basis for the simulation?"
"Simulation? Im confused sir, we were ordered to find the properties of this chemical."
"Through simulation yes, it's highly unstable. Wait, you didn't use a simulation?" Some of the things written in the report started to get back to him. What was that about a blowtorch now again?
"No sir, just standard experiments." He started to fervently flip through the report.
"Wait, wait, wait. So here under preparations, you actually did THIS?"
"Yes, we loaded the ballast tank with a mixture of oxygen and fluorine gas then ran it through a 700-degree-heating block." Fluorine gas, the most reactive of all elements and extremely poisonous as well as corrosive, oxidising and burns in contact with organic elements. And the humans had heated it to 700 FUCKING DEGREES!!! The human apparently took his stunned silence as an instruction to continue.
"Don't worry, the resulting chemical FOOF is stored perfectly safe at -180°C in our lab." Where precisely was the humans lab located now again? It wasn't close by was it? He took a deep breath to try to steady himself.
"A-Alright, carrying on." For his internal vision the different experiments mentioned took on a whole different light. "Ehm, you mentioning reacting it with, ehm." He looked at the list of elements the humans had tried; ethyl alcohol (blue flame and explosion), liquid methane (white flame, at -180°C), ammonia ('vigorus', at -170°C), chlorine (explosion, so they added it more slowly the second time!). Unable to get another word out and feeling dangerously close to fainting, he apparently must have looked terrible cause the human feelt a need to continue.
"Ah yes, sorry about the sulfur compounds. The thermodynamics turned out to be a bit to extreme for us. But I believe if we can get some better equipment, we might be able to give it a shot!" The human seemed, happy? Exalted even, at the mentioning of this proposed suicide. As per it own calculations it would release 6 kcal/g. TNT is 1 kcal/g, and it doesn't FREAKING cause everything else to spontaneously combust! EVERYTHING! As in such combustible material as: sand, concrete, asbestos and fiberglass!
"Ehm, ehm, uh." His mouth wasn't working properly. Pretty sure his brain wasn't either. Thoughts such as "NO YOU FREAKING DON'T" and "WHY EVEN? I. DON'T. HOW?" was racing through it, but didn't seem to be able to find an exit.
"Well, uhm. I can see that you are a bit disappointed in us. I will check if we can't do the experiment with the things we have anyway. I'll be back in a moment!" At that the human turned and walked away. Which was just as well cause all his muscles had given out, causing him to slip out from his chair and onto the ground. His last words before he fainted was "Please, don't."
Now you might think that this story was exaggerated, blown up so to speak. No human would ever actually do stuff like this? I present to you the legend, the madman: A. G. Streng and his paper "The Chemical Properties of Dioxygen Difluoride". For those of you less skilled in the arcane arts of stuff that detonates things at 90K (that's -180°C or -300°F). Here's a glorious, more approachable, blog article aptly named "Things I Wont Work With: Dioxygen Difluoride".