Dear readers, I'm regretful to inform you that my article about the mysticisms on the bottom of Agrarian 5 has been canceled. In its place I have ventured into the lesser known parts of the galaxy. Into one of its many spiraling arms. To meet one of the latecomers to our galactic union.
Some of you might have already heard of these, humans, and their extensive bodily augmentations. Might as well warn you already that what you have heard is true. For those not in the known, their augmentations are limitless.
A sturdy physiology has granted them the ability to do advanced work, that would shock even a Mulok, with basic tools. One of their earliest crude augmentations where created to fix broken bones. By driving a metal rod through them. That they survived this in great enough numbers to be considered a viable medical treatment, is a testament to this.
Now of course all modern civilizations have augmentations. One of our readers might well have an eye or brain extension, mayhaps an extra arm to help with everyday tasks. While many humans, on the other hand, are often mistaken for robots. Or, other things.
You can then image my excitement. When I received an invitation to a "tea party" (a ceremoniously consumption of a specific kind of liquid) of theirs. I was even told that this "party" was wondrous enough to be thematically inspired by one of their old fairy tales. A costume was required, however my ordinary cloths seemed to suffice (one of the perks of being so alien to them, no doubt).
I had the most wondrous time. Some humans had switched augmentations for just this occasion. To appear more like some animals called cat and mouse. They looked marvelous, like something out of a fairy tale (which supposedly was the purpose, so good job there).
Their treatment of guests where exemplary. Although one women, in a beautiful red dress, ran around threatening people with having their head cut of. Remarkably no one was phased by this in the slightest.
Another strange fellow was someone refereed to as mad (although he seemed quite sane to me). That had an obsession of hats and seemed to be in possession of a copious amount of them. Nicely enough he even gave me one, I looked terribly stylish.
As for the liquid consumed it was most delicious. With a wide range of drinking instruments made available. Some of them more creative but with limited utility (many quests seemingly took great delight in drinking out of their own hats).
Through it all, greeting every human turned into a surprising challenge. I mistook something called a "coat hanger" for a human. But that was far from the worst of it. Despite all mental preparations its difficult to grasp the true extent of human augmentation, and how they may appear.
So I must confess that I sat on one of the guests. It seemed like an ordinary chair to me at the time. When it began to speak and asks for some of the liquid. My apologies where many but apparently this was just how it was supposed to be. I'm told he become quite famous in his circle of chairs for being one of the only humans being sat on by one of my species.
So if you ever get invited to a human tea party. Take them up on it and great everything you see. The occasionally coat hanger notwithstanding, you might get a response from the strangest of things.